I doubt that I'm alone in recalling every tiny detail of my wedding day. Like most people profoundly in love, it's something very special. For us, it was a solemn commitment, to each other and to the world outside declaring a partnership formed in love and commitment not just for that day, but for the rest of our lives. We'd had the conversations with the minister. We'd spent long hours over the previous weeks and months talking, sharing, preparing for just this day.
I was no spring chicken. Indeed I'd had another long term commitment, one that ended when my beloved Skip became ill and died from encephalitis a few years earlier. There's a real advantage I think to coming to find love later in life. It certainly was for me anyway. For one, I'd learned to discern the difference between lust and love. I was far less likely as well to try to change a partner. Our differences were there as they are with most couples I think, but we'd talked about them and come to a resolution before the wedding day.
Then again, we had some other issues as well. Our wedding was not the usual man and wife circumstance. I had transitioned some time earlier, and was legally female. A narrow court decision in Texas allowed us the window to get married. So there was a LOT of media attention. A Houston radio station devoted two hours to dragging our names through the mud. Lots of couples don't have protesters at their weddings. We did however. Still, to a degree greater than I would have guessed, most people were nice, and many supportive. I think that may be because we spoke not of gay marriage, but rather of the love the two of us shared. Deep down inside I think, most people love a good love story. It seems to be a natural desire and urge for many of us.
So on that September day in San Antonio, in a wedding put on by the local community, we exchanged our vows, followed by a quick press interview before we could finish our celebrations. Now I know how I felt that day. Clearly it radiated outward, because people said they'd never seen me so at peace or with such a smile as I had that day. One friend said we both were radiating the love we felt for each other. See, we may have had different circumstances, but the love we professed is more universal than mere categories can define. Before our Creator and the world, we said we were wife and wife, and it just felt exactly right for both of us.
2 of the Protesters outside the gates
Love inside the gates
I suppose I will never fully understand why the love we share is such an issue with some folks. We professed our love in a religious ceremony, just the same as anyone else. It's been 12 years since that wedding took place, and 13 years since we became a couple. Does anyone really believe a God could be so cruel as to create us to love another, then ask us to deny that love? I understand some do not believe in what we do, but then should we be denied those many benefits available through marriage because of their personal belief? I don't pretend to have the answers, but I do have my answers. Just as we said prior to our wedding, Love is Love. Love is All There Is. Our love transcends the narrow minded perspective of modern day pharisees clinging to the law and ignoring the greater imperative of Love.
So in 37 days, voters will try to enshrine their misguided belief that would make Robin and me different in the eyes of the courts. It's anybody's guess how Minnesota law will treat the love recognized by one court in the state of Texas. One thing they cannot do however. Love prevails over ALL things. My prayer is that reason reigns in November. But whatever happens, our commitment, our hearts, our lives will remain entwined. Just as we swore on that September day and just as we have watched that love grow each day we have been together. What love has created, none can cast asunder. Meanwhile we live with hope, for ultimately justice will prevail. May it happen sooner rather than later.
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